Hi.

I have not forgotten about my website. I need to give it the love it deserves. I need to do better at keeping all of you updated, even when it seems small.

This last Wednesday (June 10th) marked 4 years.

As crazy as it might sound, these past 4 years have been some of the best years of my life.

Although I have spent time in deep sorrow, crying out to God, He has answered as a father would. He has drawn me closer, and I have been able to live daily walking with Christ.

He is my answer when I am asked, "How are you doing?" “How are you still working?” “How are you getting through?” But God.

“Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken.” - Psalm 55:22

When you are told that time is most likely not on your side, there are a few gifts that will come along with such news.

The Gift of Praise;

Praise: the joyful act of acknowledging, honoring, and declaring God's supreme worth, character, and mighty acts.

Thank you, God, for this life. I have more than I deserve. I am deeply loved and favored by God. God, your grace and faithfulness are evident all over my life. You would have to be blind not to see it. Not just with my recent blessings, which there are many, but the ones that have been here all along. Primarily in the form of Josh. I don’t think I will ever be able to put into words what kind of person Josh is and the tremendous way he loves me and cares for our family.

Praise, that for the last four years I have been surrounded by friends and strangers who continually lift my family and me in prayer. Your prayers have been a source of strength, and I am deeply grateful for your ongoing support and love.

I praise you, God, that even in the deepest sorrow, you have brought tremendous joy into my life. God, you have shown me that it is possible to feel pain, hope, sadness, and love all at the same time.

The Gift of Priority.

Priority: something that you do or deal with first because it is more important or urgent than other things

To me, this looks like living daily in pleasure with my family. Please, make no mistake, this is a conscious decision. We have four children; pleasure is a choice. And the fact remains that, despite what my current health status is at any given point, I must still be a parent. I do focus on being more intentional with my words, discipline, and time. Time is a precious gift. Whether we are running to games, practices, church, or sitting at home, I crave nothing more than just being with my people. If you know me, you know the FOMO is real. I generally want to be invited, although I most likely will not come. This is something I will probably always struggle with; this is how I am wired. I am impulsive with my words and reactions, trust me, I know. However, I think over the last four years I have been able to lean the other way. Instead of trying to be involved in everything, I have realized that my time and the time I have with family are priceless. Friday movie nights and Saturday board game nights are my favorites.

The Gift of Perspective;

Perspective: a particular way of viewing things that depends on one’s experience and personality.

My perspective remains positive, hopeful, and grateful, which I hope encourages others fighting similar battles to see light amid challenges. I do have times when I am scared and fear all the things I will miss, particularly when it comes to my children's lives. I have to make a conscious choice to find gratitude for the time I have. I have said it countless times: this life, Josh, and our kids are more than I ever dreamed. I also know that I am not alone. There are many women, wives, and moms who are facing the same fears as I am. I physically feel good. My chemotherapy is well-tolerated; usually, the day after, I can sleep all day, sometimes I do, then it is back to normal. I know this could be worse. I also know my track record with God. He has never, not once, ever failed me. I don’t believe He will start now.

Current Health Situation: Stable

Current medication: Tagrisso (osimertinib), an oral targeted therapy. I have been on this for four years.
Chemotherapy: Pemetrexed, administered via infusion every three weeks. Bevacizumab is a targeted biologic therapy and angiogenesis inhibitor. I continue to receive this in combination with the pemetrexed.

In April, I had a chest CT and PET scan. The nodule in my left lower lung grew slightly (0.9 cm). It showed increased activity on the PET scan. They also saw a few extremely small nodules (less than 0.5 cm) at the base of my right lung. Not the news we wanted. To be completely honest, this was an extremely dark time for me. I actually received a phone call on my birthday from one of my doctors. He didn’t like the results either. He canceled my chemotherapy that was scheduled in four days, ordered a blood biopsy, and asked Josh and me to come in after the test results were in to discuss “treatment options and realistic expectations.”

These are the moments that bring me to my knees. These are the moments I can’t eat or sleep. These are the moments that I grieve deeply. I beg God to take this from me, to give me more time with Josh and my kids, to let me be the miracle. I know that this is also so hard on Josh and those close to me. I require a lot of prayer and reassurance that I will be ok. I know this is a lot to put on someone. I also feel predictable, which makes me disappointed in myself, in my faith. These moments come when there is news we don’t like, when the results are not what we wanted, and I act like I haven’t been here before and that every single time, God has worked it for my good. I am human. I am still learning.

I had a third Guardant blood test, a type of liquid biopsy. It looks for tiny pieces of tumor DNA (called circulating tumor DNA or ctDNA) that cancer cells release into the bloodstream. In the last four years, I have had three liquid biopsies; my mutation has never shown up on this test, not even in the beginning. I am not completely sure how to interpret this. The most likely explanation is that I have a small volume and a slow-growing disease.

In May, Josh and I traveled to MD Anderson, and the nodule in my left lower lung was biopsied. Unfortunately, the biopsy didn’t tell us anything new, not necessarily anything bad, but nothing new.

The Plan:

Continue current treatment.

Prepare to radiate the spot in the lower left lung.

I begin with the first round of radiation on Wednesday, June 24th, and I will need 3 to 5 treatments.

Continue with surveillance scans every three months.

As I continue treatment, I ask for your prayers. Please pray for God's healing and guidance. Your prayers for strength, patience, and peace are invaluable to my family and me during this time.

Continue to praise God for healing my body.

Camping

As I mentioned, June 10th marked four years since I was diagnosed.

That day, I spent with my three youngest, “camping” on the spring-fed Cibolo Creek.

Josh and Rush were at beach camp in Ft Walton. I usually go to beach camp and serve on the medical team, but I decided to sit this year out. I wanted this time to be intentional with my kids. This might be shocking, but I am very codependent. Josh really does take care of everything. This was not only the time I wanted to be with my kids, but a reminder to myself that I can do hard things.

We stayed in a tent with AC and a bathroom, and this is the closest I wish to come to camping. We built our own campfires, and the kids really wanted to cook hot dogs over a fire (along with s'mores). We caught fireflies and baby toads, and had a baby-toad circus. We kayaked, paddle-boarded, floated, and swam in the Cibolo Creek. Rhet was my right-hand man, and together we made quite the team. We packed the Suburban, the cooler, totes, and floats, collected firewood, made campfires, and kept us all alive!

Please enjoy Ryan Kate’s baby toad circus.

We have a jam-packed summer, and I am looking forward to it all. In less than two weeks, we will set off to Colorado for our first time at Sky Ranch’s family camp. At the end of July, we will return to our favorite spot on 30A. Summer is always too fast. Between adventures, I am looking forward to lazy days of reading, swimming, trips to the library, and maybe a few movies. I used to feel the need to put my kids in every camp we could over the summer; those days are gone. I want them home; I crave a slow pace, meaningful time, and conversations with my little and not-so-little people.

Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read this. Thank you for still caring and praying for us after four years. Please continue to pray for my complete healing this side of eternity, for Josh and my kids who navigate this journey with me, and for the countless other moms and women I know who are currently fighting their own cancer journey, while still being a mom. I see you.

With all my love,

Karly

Four Years